Attitude Adjustment
by dnjlwilson
Summary: Captain Stanley takes on the task of adjusting the attitude of one of his men.


SOP Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and do not intend any infringement on the rights of those who do.

Attitude Adjustment

Captain Hank Stanley heard the bay door roll up. _Finally,_ he thought. The squad was back. As usual, the engine had beat the squad back to the barn by a good two hours. Johnny and Roy had gotten caught at the hospital helping with the victim.

He sighed heavily. This was one conversation he wasn't looking forward to, but he felt it needed to be done. Now. He held the report he had just finished typing in his hand. He noticed the fine tremor as he read it for the tenth time. _...reckless, careless behavior...disobeying a direct order...unneccesarily endangering his own life..._No, he wasn't looking forward to this.

Rising slowly from his chair, he leaned in the doorway, watching his paramedics bantering back and forth, completely oblivious to the heaviness of his heart. _Give me wisdom, Lord._

"John, can I see you a minute, pal?" he asked, careful not to make eye contact with the youngest member of his crew.

"Sure, Cap." Johnny replied. "Anything wrong?" he asked as he cautiously came into the room.

"Close the door, will ya?" was Cap's answer.

Johnny wasn't smiling now. Something was wrong. He tried to recall what it could possibly be, but came up empty.

"Sit down, please." Cap said, motioning to a chair he had pulled up from the far wall.

"What is it, Cap?" Johnny was worried now.

Captain Stanley handed him the report and watched numerous emotions sweep across Johnny's face as he read it.

"Reckless, careless?" Johnny was incredulous. "Cap, what is this?"

"Have I got your attention, John?" Cap replied, meeting Johnny's gaze for the first time.

"Yes, sir." Johnny answered, trying to control his voice.

"Good." Cap was firm. "What's going on with you lately?"

Johnny looked away. Any explanation he could give was going to come up short. With this report in his file any future he had with the department would be in jeopardy.

"John?" Cap was trying to be patient. He knew he had struck a nerve with Gage and he feared this was not going to end well.

After what seemed like an eternity, Johnny looked up, brown eyes shimmering with emotion. "I don't know how to answer that."

"Not good enough, Gage." Cap summoned all the authority he could muster, which wasn't much. God help him, Gage was his favorite. John Gage reminded him of himself, which scared the hell out of him. "You've got to do better than that. These are serious charges."

Johnny stood up abruptly and headed to the window. Nothing going on outside registered in his mind. _Charges! Oh, God!_ "I wish I could give you a better answer. I guess I don't even know myself. I don't remember any of that stuff going on."

_Finally, a breakthrough! _Cap wasted no time in taking advantage of it. "Let me refresh your memory. For the past two weeks, you've acted like you were bullet proof. Not to mention, taking unneccesary risks." Cap paused for effect, then continued. "And today, for the first time, you directly disobeyed my order to wait until I gave the all clear to enter that building. What were you thinking?"

Johnny turned to face his accuser. "Roy was in there, Cap."

"You think I didn't know that!" Cap raised his voice. "Roy is my responsibility, pal, along with all the rest of you. I make my decisions based on my experience and I expect orders to be followed to the letter!" Cap lowered his voice, "I can't abide a lone wolf, Gage."

Johnny sighed. He knew his captain was right. But, he just didn't understand, dammit!

"Silence isn't golden in this situation, John." Cap was about to get angry. He thought Gage would have more fight in him.

Johnny hung his head. What could he say? Cap was right.

"Johnny, sit down." Cap patted the chair that Gage had vacated. He would try a different approach.

"John, I'm asking as a friend now, not your captain. What in the hell is going on inside that head of yours?" Something had to reach this man!

Not looking up, Johnny answered, "Cap, do you remember last month when we were at that house fire and Roy got electrocuted?"

Cap nodded. "Hard to forget."

"You're damn right it's hard! If Karen hadn't been there, Roy would be dead." Johnny pounded the arm of the chair for effect.

"John, you were trapped upstairs with the victim. Are you blaming yourself for that?" Cap asked.

Johnny fought to stay in his seat. "Of course not, Cap. It just made me realize how dangerous this job is and how fast things can go bad."

"Go on, John." Cap said, gently tapping his friends leg.

"Had flashbacks of when Drew was killed. I had to tell Pam her husband was dead while I looked into the face of his little girl." Johnny struggled for control.

Cap remembered the incident.

Johnny lost the battle to stay seated, "I'd rather die myself than to have to tell Joann that her husband won't be coming home. And then there's Chris and Jen. What would I say to them?"

"John, let me make sure I'm hearing you right." Cap knew this was a crucial point in this conversation. He would have to tread lightly. "You are figuring your life is more expendible than Roy's."

Johnny shook his head. "Cap, it's not that. I just don't think I could live knowing Roy was gone, especially if I could have done something about it."

Cap had him now. _Damn, I'm good!_ he thought to himself.

"I figured as much. John, that is the nature of this beast. Our job is dangerous, and we all know it. That's why we stress safety on the job and why we train relentlessly. None of us can be guaranteed tomorrow, but we can damn sure make sure we are as safe as we know how to be and do our jobs just like we are trained to do." Cap stood, trying to regather his authoritative stance, not wanting to give Gage a chance to rebut. "John, I am hereby putting you on UNofficial probation. I'm gonna watch you like a hawk, mister. You are going to trust me to do my job and I'm going to trust you to do yours." Cap held up his hand to stifle the protest that was coming from his man. "And, you will let Roy do his job. If you can't, I will recommend the two of you be reassigned. Do I make myself PERFECTLY clear?"

Johnny was speechless. "Cap, you wouldn't split us up?"

"If I have to. I will NOT lose a man on my watch, do you hear me?" Cap said firmly.

Johnny nodded.

"I can't hear your head nod, pal. Do you hear me?" Cap asked again.

Johnny stood at attention. "Yes, sir!"

"Goooood!" Cap smiled. "Now that we are agreed on the subject, I'm going to file this report where it belongs." He tore the report into several pieces and dropped it into the trash can. "We won't be needing that, will we?"

"No, sir." Johnny studdered.

"Dismissed!" Cap said

"But Cap, I..." Johnny began.

"I said dismissed." Cap opened the door. "Now, get the hell out of my sight! I'm too old for this."

He closed the door firmly after Johnny stalked through it. Relieved it was over, he dropped into his chair, mentally exhausted.

A knock on the door got his attention. "I said dismissed!"

"Cap?" Roy stuck his head in the door.

"Yeah?" he looked up, not really surprised it was his senior paramedic.

"Thanks." Roy said, in his usual quiet, shy way.

"Don't mention it, pal." Cap smiled

"I won't. Ever." Roy returned the smile as he closed the door.

Cap leaned back in his chair. Putting his hands behind his head and his feet on the desk he thought silently, _Yep, I'm good!_


End file.
